travis' brain dump

ROFL…. So a co-worker sent this email today that had an actual complaint letter in it from a passenger on Flight# 888/500 to Houston back in 2004. While this is old it merits the humor section. I don’t know how I’d feel in this same position, maybe I would send in something similar… who knows. Poor guy.

(Typed version for easier reading, pictures are from a scan of the original hand-written document)
(if you’re one of those who needs to know it’s True from snopes here ya go: http://www.snopes.com/travel/airline/seat29e.asp)

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12-21-04
Flt#888/500 -> Houston
Seat #29E (RECEIVED APR 13 2005 Customer Care)

Dear Continental Airlines,

I am disgusted as I write this note to you about the miserable experience I am having sitting in seat _29E_ on one of your aircrafts. As you may know, this seat is situated directly across from the lavatory, so close that I can reach out my left arm and touch the door.

All my senses are being tortured simultaneously. Its difficult to say what the worst part about sitting in 29E really is? Is it the stentch of the sanitation fluid that’s blown all over my body every 60 seconds when the  door opens? Is it the woosh of the constant flushing? Or is it the passengers asses that seem to fit into my personal spase like a p0rn0graphic jig-saw puzzel?

I constucted a stink – shield by shoving one end of a blanket into the overhead compartment – while effective in blocking at least some of the smell, and offering a small bit of privacy, the ass-on- my-body factor has increased, as without my evil glare, passengers feel free to lean up against what they think is some kind of blanketed wall.  The next ass that touches my shoulder will be the last!

I am picturing a board room full of executives giving props to the young promising engineer that figured out how to squeeze an additional row of seats onto this plane by putting them next to the LAV.

I would like to flush his head in the toilet that I am close enough to touch and taste from my seat. Putting a seat here was a very bad idea.  I just heard a man GROAN in there!  This sucks!

Worse yet, is I’ve paid over $400.00 for the honor of sitting in this seat! Does your company give refunds?  I’d like to go back where I came from and start over.  Seat 29E could only be worse if it was located inside the bathroom.

I wonder if my clothing will retain the sanitizing odor …. hat about my hair! I feel like I’m bathing in a toilet bowl of blue liquid, and there is no man in a little boat to save me. I am filled with a deep hatred for you plane designer. And a general dis-ease that may last for hours.

We are finally decending, and soon I will be able to tear down the stink-shield, but the scars will remain.

I suggest that you initiate immediate removal of this seat from all of your crafts.  Just remove it, and leave the smouldering brown hole empty, a place for sturdy/non-absorbing luggage maybe, but not human cargo.

You know, I had this conversation with Amanda while we were driving yesterday. I don’t quite understand the stupid logic of people and their bumper stickers and signs hanging in their windows… take the following for example:

That is by far probably the dumbest sign to hang in the window of your car. Does it provide some false sense of security to people who put it in the window? I mean honestly people, do you seriously think it does anything for anyone other than your own mental state of delusion? 🙂

a) The drivers who are careful, considerate drivers already drive with the proper distance and pay attention to the vehicles around them. They already drive defensively and therefore already don’t want to hit you, baby on board or not. Also keep in mind that those who have a hard time seeing, may just get *CLOSER* to you in order to read your little sign. *NOTHING* in the entire world, especially a little sign in the window is going to help you if one of these drivers gets into an accident with you.

b) The drivers who are aggressive, inconsiderate and would probably just prefer to run you down don’t care about your sign. In fact, it’s more likely to anger them because due to their type-a and somewhat pre-offended personality they feel as though you are talking directly to them and they hate you for it. They are 10 times more likely to tailgate you because of this. Again.. *NOTHING* in the entire world, especially a little sign in the window is going to help you if one of these drivers gets into an accident with you.

So you’ve successfully done what? brought normal drivers closer to your vehicle to read your sign and successfull provoked aggressive drivers. And how does this help your baby?

That is all.

A buddy of mine, Jay, pointed me to this. This is freaking insane. Not only is this not healthy for a regular human being but it would probably kill a diabetic… 303g of carbs and 266g of sugar?! That’s a little over half a pound of sugar!!!!

After reading this I’m not sure I could even think it would taste good… probably is the bomb. lol… literally.

At first this didn’t seem real, but it is posted up on a yahoo article to back it up…

http://health.yahoo.com/experts/eatthis/5027/americas-unhealthiest-drinks-exposed/

Wow.

From an email issued by my counterpart Myke:

As of Monday there is an upgrade available for LeftHand SANiQ version 7 and I am going to start that process tomorrow. I am going to get this one done before Monday so we are on track for the new release of their software this fall.

If anyone has any issues with that please feel free to stop by and bang your head on the wall so I can watch and laugh at you hysterically

Thank you for your time, that is all…goodnight.

“…ladies and gentlemen, Elvis has left the building…”

Can you tell it’s almost Friday? I tell ya, this is one of those days that I just love my line of work…